A few years ago we enjoyed one of the loveliest holidays we’ve ever had, travelling in absolute luxury and at an incredibly slow speed for a week through the lovely countryside of Burgundy with European Waterways…

Happiness is a path, not a destination… The ancient quote dreamed up by some philosopher thousands of years ago still rings as true today as it did when the likes of Homer were taking to the seas. Which is just as well if you are holidaying on a canal barge, because getting there isn’t the point of the exercise at all. 

Passing gently and slowly through beautiful countryside is what the mission is all about - and you may as well add luxury and a little decadence to the experience to make the journey something you will remember for years. 

Travel: to go through or over a place during a trip or journey - to move from one place to another… So says one online dictionary, but the whole art of travelling is more elastic and thought provoking than that. And the speed at which you travel can change the experience immensely - so that if you are roaring through Central France on a motorway you might get the feeling that the countryside, formed of great endless plains, is a bit boring and bleak. But many of you will know that it is not monotonous at all - slow down or stop and you will discover scenic river valleys and forests dotted with villages so historic that they make our own medieval honeypots look like modern housing estates.

I have known this fact about Central France for years - what I did not know until recently was that the very best way to see and immerse oneself deep in some of the most fabulous countryside in Europe was to journey through it by boat. 

The good ship L’Art de Vivre started life as a Scottish lumber carrier, but she has been carefully transformed - according to the British holiday company European Waterways - into a floating celebration of the Burgundian “good life”. 

I can vouch for that - I have rarely, if ever, been on a more luxurious journey - which is why this wondrous experience isn’t exactly the cheap. 

The L’Art de Vivre’s four recently refitted cabins have modern en suite bathrooms and there’s a delightful saloon where you dine and generally loll about - and better still is the sizeable sun-deck where you can relax with a glass of wine as you glide through the pretty Burgundian countryside.

There’s even a new spa pool near the bows in which I recently spent an extremely pleasant hour sipping Chablis - near Chablis - while being pummelled gently with hot bubbles. I am not, as many readers of this website will know, in the habit of going about the place looking like some posh millionaire - but I do believe that on this one occasion some folk walking on the towpath may have assumed I was one hell of a rich geezer. 

There is no getting away from it, the L’Art de Vivre style of barging is all about opulence - indeed, it is just about as far from the boat’s original life of lugging lumber as you could imagine. In the old days people didn’t want to touch things with bargepoles - with European Waterways you’d do anything to get hold of one of their bargepoles. Indeed they refer to the boat as a “hotel barge”.

There were just six passengers aboard for the week when we journeyed north up the Burgundy Canal (she takes a maximum of eight) and we were looked after and generally pampered by a crew of four. There was a young French pilot who had his work cut out guiding the big barge through seemingly impossible locks, sometimes with just half an inch to spare; there was an even younger hostess who served us high quality wines, among other things, with great charm and knowledge; there was the captain or tour guide who drove us around in a luxury minibus so that we could spend a few hours everyday exploring rather than just lolling about (an Englishman with immense historical knowledge of the region), and last but certainly not least there was a master chef who turned out multi-course lunches and dinners, the likes of which you’d only normally find at top-end restaurants. 

We were doing European Waterway’s “classic cruise in Burgundy” which, in our case, meant doing it south-to-north. This began with us being conveyed from the meeting point in Paris down to a village called Chevroches about 60 miles south of Auxerre. We were lucky - the weather was fine and as soon as we’d left the motorway we began to realise we were in a very lovely area indeed. 

It became ever more beautiful, so that by the time we reached the L’Art de Vivre tucked away in a silent, sylvan, river valley, we felt a world away from the French capital, even though the journey had only taken three hours. If the road trip had all been a bit of rush, then time was now to enter a kind of joyous, un-rushed, go-slow mode. 

We were welcomed with good champagne and excellent canapés made by the chef - and this enjoyable repast was to set the tone for the week. Great food, great wine. And, as it happened in our fortunate case, great company. My wife and I instantly got along well with the wealthy young American couple who amazed us by saying that they were on their honeymoon - and with the more elderly English couple who’d been on many European Waterways cruises before. 

By the time we’d unpacked and settled into our cabins it was time for pre-dinner drinks - and then came the mighty meal itself, beautifully cooked by a great chef who hailed from the Channel Isles, which meant he was a master of French cuisine but also knew how to adapt it to broader international tastes. During an entire week on the boat we were not presented with a single dish that I disliked. On the contrary - I liked them all.

And although they weren’t really anything to do with the chef, the series of local cheeses we were treated to throughout were enough to harden the veins of the most ardent dairy-food-fanatic. I haven’t eaten a single mouthful of cheese since - you could not refuse any of the wondrous morsels on offer, which meant I almost ended the week mooing.

Anyway, the next morning we began our go-slow journey in earnest - which meant a cruise through beautiful countryside past Chevroches in the Yonne Valley, to eventually arrive at Lucy-sur-Yonne. 

Aboard the L’Art de Vivre you are master of your own slow-moving destiny, in that you can do what you wish. You might prefer to sit in a comfortable recliner watching the countryside go by, or you might feel like walking or cycling all those calories off by tootling up or down the towpath (good bikes are provided). 

You are also offered a trip each day in the minibus - and, in the interests of seeing more of this beautiful area, all six of us took the opportunity throughout the holiday. On this first day we saw the only rain to fall all week - so it was a timely chance to visit the amazing Chateau of Bazoches, whose many illustrious visitors included Richard the Lionheart. The stately homer was later remodelled by Maréchal Vauban who was a find a French answer to Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

The next day we tootled our splendid way north again from Lucy-sur-Yonne to Le Saussois - and now we were able to take the minibus up to one of the most remarkable and historic villages in all of France. Vezelay, perched on its hill-top with views for miles around, has more history in its little finger than many huge cities can boast. Much of it is centred on the Romanesque Basilica of St Mary Magdalene, which houses the female saint’s remains. Scratch the ancient stone surface in Vezelay, and you are instantly into a Dan Brown type world of religious secrets and conspiracy theories.  

Could Mary Magdalene have had a child by Jesus? And if she did, did the male line go on to become the ancient Kings of France? Some people like to believe all this - and if you like such stuff then Vezelay is the capital of such mystery. Richard the Lionheart set forth from this place to go on Crusade, not once - but three times…

All very interesting, and exhausting - so time for another big dinner aboard the L’Art de Vivre. The next day is Wednesday, which means it’s market-day in the beautiful 14th century medieval village of Noyers. So off we go to buy in provisions for the chef - then return to lunch aboard and wile away an easy afternoon watching the countryside get a little bit more dramatic as it approaches the cliff-lined region of Saussois.

That evening, after mooring at Mailly-la-Ville, we were driven to dine at one of the best auberges in the region. The journey was worth it, the rib of beef was sublime. And perhaps I needed a trencherman’s portion of good red meat to be ready for the morning after - which meant being driven over to Chablis for a wine-tasting at the family-run winery of Jean-Marc Brocard. 

Chablis happens to be one of my favourite wines - partly because shellfish happen to be one of my favourite foodstuffs. As everyone knows, the two go hand-in-wondrous-hand. And what you learn in this world-famous village is that the local soils are full of fossilised shellfish - indeed the geological term for the rock there is Kimmeridgian - which refers to the Dorset village of that name, famous for its high grade white chalk.

I don’t know about you, but I find it mind-boggling that a type wine today can go so well with one type of foodstuff - i.e. shellfish - because the vines that make it are grown on billions of crushed and fossilised shellfish which perished 150 million years ago.

I love synergy. And I love countryside. And the next day we tootled through plenty of lovely scenery as we made for our final destination of Auxerre, admiring vineyard clad slopes and limestone escarpments as we went. A turn around the town, a vast and sumptuous captain’s dinner, and that was it…

The next morning it was all over and we returned to being mere mortals. By which I mean - we were no longer served upon hand and foot while doing nothing much at all but moving slowly - suddenly we were back in the real world of help-yourself and dashing to catch trains. Even slow-motion dreams eventually have to end somewhere.  

Fact File

European Waterways is the largest luxury hotel barging company in Europe, offering 6-night cruises on a large fleet of fully-crewed barges along the canals, rivers and lakes of France, Italy, Scotland, England, Ireland, Holland, Belgium, Germany and Luxembourg.

Charters are also available. 

To find out more about European Waterways: https://www.europeanwaterways.com