What’s the zaniest, craziest, thing you could do food-wise this Christmas? I’m not talking about boiling the turkey or mashing the sprouts or anything so daft or mundane… I’m interested in suggestions that really push the boat out - like having a beach picnic in the teeth of a raging December gale, for example.

I wrote those words two years ago after enjoying a really good day out with my old mate Dan the Fishman.

The well known purveyor North Devon’s of seafood, Dan Garnett had invited me to what passes for our annual Christmas party…. A cooking session on a beach.

As we both work alone, away from any kind of company office, neither of us get invited to the usual Christmas work shindigs - so we thought it might be a good idea to stage our own right out there on the wild Atlantic coast.

And why not? Why not do something a bit different and memorable? At the end of the day, life is all about memories - and, once it’s been swallowed, food is too. So why not do something interesting, different, colourful and memorable at this time of the year when everything tends to get covered in tinsel and can become just a bit repetitious and unremarkable?

Hikers often mutter an oft-used phrase first coined by Alfred Wainwright when it comes to meteorological conditions at this time of the year: “There’s no such thing as bad weather - there’s just unsuitable clothing.”

Which is basically how some eccentric folk (me included) regard the idea of dining al-fresco in an English winter. Why should a picnic or a beach-cook-up be limited to just the few short months of summer we have in this country? 

I’m not prescribing that everyone head for the beaches at a drop of a hat this Christmas, but a well planned excursion undertaken with the help of some good warm weatherproofs can provide you with more lasting memories than 100 office parties or drab Christmas dinners endured on sufferance. 

We chose the wildest bit of coast we could find, donned the kind of waterproofs which the late Wainwright would have approved, built a fire and piled on the fish for a seafood extravaganza, just a few feet from where the marine creatures were caught or harvested by Dan Garnett’s fish-crew.

“We’re going to cook up a festive fish treat with our merry crew,” beamed Dan as the WMN contingent reached a spume-covered, salt-sprayed Hartland Quay. “We are going out on the beach - to prove that we can go out on the beach - and enjoy some good local produce at this festive time of the year. 

“We’ve got local oysters and fizz - then we are going to have a taste-off with some gravlax I’ve made and some from Plaistow Mills on Exmoor. After that we’re going to send the youngsters across the beach to collect shellfish - some mussels, limpets and winkles - and boil those off in a broth of cider.

“And I’m going to pan fry on the fire a nice bit of local hake landed just around the corner at Appledore.”

Dan loves this sort of day out, and his enthusiasm is infectious… “The sun’s out, the sea is nice. This is Devon! We get sunshine here 300 days a year,” he grinned, brushing off any suggestion that his meteorological statistics may have been on the optimistic side.

“A whacking great big storm has just gone by - which is why the waves are so big - I’m glad we are all ashore and safe on the beach. You don’t mess with this coast,” he continued, as I reported the loss of an expensive GoPro camera (my own fault entirely) which had been snatched by an unusually enormous wave. 

“A camera is a loss to you, but many people have come to grief around here down the years. 

“Just eat and enjoy,” laughed the bearded wonder, patting me on the back. “The wild foraged shellfish with a bit of seaweed for extra flavour has made a fantastic broth now that I’ve added a bit of cider and butter.

“This is real festive food,” grinned a hugely satisfied Dan. “It’s worth pushing the boat out at this time of the year. Come on down to the beach! Everything tastes better when you’ve got your own fire and you’re eating. 

“Here we are surrounded by crashing waves - this is Christmas… A Happy Fishmass to you all!”

Dan the Fishman’s hake with foraged seafood broth

“Find a good beach where you’re allowed to build a fire and it’s safe,” says Dan Garnett. “Make a fire-pit from beach stones - use dry logs and driftwood. Light the fire place a flat griddle over it when it’s getting super hot. As the fire its getting into its stride, forage for handful mussels, limpets, winkles and seaweed.

In a small saucepan soften shallots and red pepper which you’ve diced finely and add some crushed garlic to the sizzling butter. Add a glug of dry local cider then throw in your washed and rinsed shellfish and seaweed. 

Bring to the boil and add the rest of cider with lid on for five to seven minutes (longer if you have limpets).

In a buttered frying pan cook the hake fillet skin down, turning only once. To the shellfish, add a tablespoon of double cream and season with pepper. No salt is required in this dish as the shellfish will have plenty. Finally, sieve the shellfish broth liquid over your cooked fish - dip some good bread into your delicious broth and eat.

Dan the Fishman’s beach recipe for three fish thermidor - serves four

“This is a really, fast one pot dish that can be cooked on the beach, delicious and health just right for happy hungry winter walkers or surfers. 

First make a small fire with driftwood and dry kindling. Place stones from the beach around it to support an improvised grill. In order to place your cooking pot on it. Get the fire really hot and cook on the hot embers. Alternatively, use a gas cooking ring.”

Ingredients:-

Fresh live cockles in the shell, good handful 

Local sustainable pollock, filleted 454 gms approx

Undyed natural oak smoked haddock fillet 227 gms approx

Salmon fillet, 350gms. Approx

5 shallots or one large onion

1 red and green pepper

4 cloves garlic

Fresh or dried herbs of your choice I like mixed herbs d provence, one desert spoon full

Noilly Pratt or white wine

Dijon smooth mustard

Double cream

Salt and fresh ground black pepper

 Finley chopped parsley, two dessertspoonfuls

Method:-

1. Wash and rinse cockles in plenty of fresh water

 Heat pan on hot fire, add whole cockles, and let them steam with lid on for a minute. Add a good glug of Noilly Pratt or wine keep lid on until the cockles open. Carry on cooking with the lid off for 2 minutes stirring occasionally, letting the cooking liquid evaporate a little. Remove from heat, carefully take the cockle meat out of their little shells, put them to one side and drain off the cooking liquid into a container

1. While the cockles cook, finely dice shallots, peppers and garlic - add to the pan with a little oil and gently sweat until soft stirring frequently. Add chopped herbs. Keep the heat low add a few spoonfuls of the cooking liquid

2. Skin the fish and cut into big chunks, now add to pan keeping on a medium heat and gently stir. After a couple of minutes add two desert spoonfuls of mustard keep stirring to allow the vinegar in the mustard to evaporate.

3. Add the cockles

4. When the fish is soft and nearly cooked add a few spoonfuls of retained cooking liquor.

5. Taste and season with pepper and maybe a little salt. Remember the smoked haddock is already salty.

6. Add the chopped parsley

7. To finish the dish stir in one dessert spoon per person of double cream. Stir and serve with warmed French bread and a glass of dry white wine

A real taste of the sea and hopefully a great view.

www.clovellyfish.com  -Dan works across North Devon selling and promoting local fish